Monday, March 28, 2011

time marches on...

Hi All
I last wrote that my vision had gone weird & it is still weird!!! Friday, 10 days ago I went to my optometrist, Mark, who told me that my vision has improved by 2 diopters! meaning it's dropped from 6.5 to 4.5! so my wearing my normal glasses with the +2's on top is correct!!! just looks so stupid. he also gave me a pair of contact lenses at the right script which is much better & I wear them with a pair of +1's for close work. But, I find my eyes are very dry, specially towards the end of the day.
The reason for all this is twofold. I don't know who of you know that my blood sugar levels are elevated - no I won't use the 'D' word!!! I'm a very recalcitrant & non compliant person in regard to this. However, my body right now won't let me put anything with sugar in it into my mouth, good thing!!! Mark feels that the fluid in my eye has changed consistency which is why my script has changed to dramatically.
However, my next appt after Mark was with Alex G, my oncologist, & when I told him of the vision issues, he didn't seem to think they were anything unusual!!! It is possible that the chemo affects the pancreas (as well as everything else) & that affects insulin. He doesn't want to see me again until August.
From there I went to see my new GP, Felix. He is much more pro-active regarding the 'D' word, than John, my GP of 25 years who has nicked off to Ballina! Felix has put me on new meds for high blood sugar & he will do blood tests every 3 months to monitor it... Oy.
After those appts I went home & stayed home!!
Saturday afternoon I went to the YouTube Symphony Orchestra at the Opera House, you can check it out on YouTube - all different musicians from all over the world got together to create a concert, it was brilliant!! That night was Purim. Our wonderful Rabbi Jacki together with Avril A, created a Purim Schpiel that was based on Elvis songs rewritten for the Purim story. Hilarious as ever, such talent we have in our Shul!!!
Sunday was Frans birthday bbq - I do love any reason for a party/get together!!!
I worked Mon & Tue, leaving early on Tue for my last blood test - hooray!! Then Jacqui & I went to see Jersey Boys - it is brilliant, recommend it highly. Very interesting story & of course the music is wonderful.
Wed morn off I went for my last chemo session. As agreed with Alex G, I had the same type of chemo as I had the 1st 3 times. I just couldn't have coped with the disgustingness of the last 2. So far the taste is horrible, but not disgusting, I can eat fruit, but still have no desire for sugar. I made some more stewed apple, which is very successful!!
That night after chemo, I went with Marilyn & Judit to see The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest. Just as good as the other 2 movies - I've read book 1, still have to read the other 2.
Thur & Fri I worked, Mandy felt I was quite effective, so that's good feedback!! Fran & I went to a play on Thurs night called Orange Flower Water - we should have given Geoff S some feedback, cos neither of us liked it!!! It sounded good, but it was very dark & no humour. The good thing to come of the evening is that there is a British Lolly shop round the corner from the theatre & I was able to buy some Heinz Sandwich Spread!!!! I was halishing for it :) You Brits know what I'm talking about hahaha.
We had a Shabbat dinner at Shul on Fri & that was great - but by then my eyes were so dry I just had to go home & get the lenses out.
Did nothing on the weekend at all, was supposed to vote in our State Election, it is compulsory here to vote, but I will say I was recovering from chemo & they can take it further if they want. Didn't make it to Chloe's farewell party unfortunately, I really wanted to go.
I took today off work because I knew I would have very little energy & yep I have had very little energy today. I did go to Esther for acupuncture this morning, it really does seem to help. Planning to go again on Fri. I will work 3 days this week, with no plans for social stuff after work!!! But then that should be it!! back to normal on the weekend & I will never ever again do chemo no matter what.
One thing I was advised of after chemo on Wed, is that the port that was inserted under my chest wall, will need to have regular flushing!!! That means going every 4-6 weeks for them to flush it, not a comfortable procedure. I meant to ask Alex G when I can get the damn thing removed, but I think they want to make sure all is well, all scans are clear, etc before taking it out.
Next appt is with Gillian L, the radiotherapist, or whatever she is, to discuss the 25 days of radiotherapy logistics, etc. That is next week. Oy, it will end. Still no hair, but there is fuzz!!! not fluff, fuzz :) eyebrows & eyelashes r still lacking, can't wait for them to grow back!! I decided to let Vinnie, my tenant, see me with no hair, cos I'm not prepared to worry about walking around the house with no wig on. I need that freedom at home. It doesn't seem to worry him. He seems to be a decent guy.
Hope life is treating you all well & I'm still managing to entertain - will write again sometime soon....
Cheers
Debbie xx

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

pushing on thru - not long to go...

Hi everyone
I think I'm leaving it too long between each blog post as I cannot remember all the interesting (& uninteresting) things I have done since last I wrote!!!
Basically I have worked most weekdays, not been able to go out at night, still feeling yuck, which is not pleasant. Still can't eat or drink anything sweet, milky or too bland.
However I have had acupuncture with Esther again, mainly for the pains in my legs, my inner organs didn't complain so much this time :) I have made an appt to see her again on the Monday after next chemo.
I did go to a concert on the Thursday evening in Surry Hills, Daniel Weltlinger was playing violin with a new band. It was mostly interesting, and he is always a pleasure to listen to...
One thing I discovered I could eat was fresh corn on the cob - I had that twice in the week, 1 cob as my dinner. Not hungry at all. I weighed myself, & as far as I can tell it looks like I have lost about 10kgs since the beginning...
Last Friday was my birthday. Thanks to everyone for all your wonderful, caring, heartfelt wishes. Lots of emails, fb messages, sms's, cards, phone calls, etc etc. hope to hear from you all again next year :) lololol
Had lunch at Savta, have mentioned this place previously, with family & a couple of friends to celebrate, thanks guys - Anne, Shell, Shirley, Jacqui, Fran, Evie, Fran's dad & of course, most importantly, Chloe!!! Terry was even in the same place, but had to rush back to work.
After lunch I had to renew my driver's licence, which had expired 2 days prior!!! Silly me ticked the box that said I take medication for high blood sugar, ech, that meant they wouldn't do the licence until I had a medical certificate.... SOOO off I went to the nearest medical centre, got a gp to fill out this stupid form - he & I had never met before, he had to take me at face value - & me him. However he filled it in & I toddled back to the RTA & got myself my new licence, must admit with the wig, it looks nothing like the me I will look like in 12 months hahah.
By then Shul beckoned & I stayed for the pot luck dinner, there were 6 of us I think, Andrea C & I had a nice chat, she was the shul representative last week.
On Saturday I drove into the city to have lunch with Anne L & Viv S in David Jones (dept store) we had a lovely lunch, enjoyed every moment.
Did something unique on Saturday night - when I say that, I mean it's something none of us had done before!! 6 of us, Terry, Alysa, Lynda, Fran, Peter & I had yummy Chinese dinner early!! then went to NIDA Parade Theatre to the Short + Sweet grand finale which began at 730pm.
Short + Sweet had been performing since January. Every week a different selection of 10 x 10 minute plays were performed, the best of which went to the grand final. I had free tickets to week 2, Lynda came with me, Fran & Peter had gone to that too, & had gone to another week as well.
The Grand Final was 13 x 10 minute plays, all winners of their own weeks. The quality of acting, directing, scripts, was brilliant, all performed by amateurs, but the talent was outstanding. After all the plays were performed  there was the prizes to be given, speeches to be given, etc - all in all it went for 4 hours, can't wait for next year!!!
Sunday was a doona day.......
Ive worked again, so far all week, no social activity. I dont feel so totally yuck this week TG, My taste still hasn't come back, but it's slightly improved. We had a lemon tart to celebrate my bday at work today - I chose that, hoping it wouldn't be too sweet for me. It was ok. they all sang happy birthday, something we forgot last Friday at lunch!!
I woke up this morning with a slight sore throat & slight temperature, so I took aspirin to reduce it, but packed clean underwear & some toiletries to take to work in case I had to dash to hospital for intravenous antibiotics, but TG the aspirin seems to have worked & I am fine now.
I had lunch on Monday this week with Jillian, & she suggested trying something - stewed apple. I thought, ok, so I bought 4 granny smiths, took them home & stewed them, no sugar or lemon. They are tart enough that I can eat it very successfully, so that was a brilliant idea Jill!!!
Gotta tell you the most frustrating that has happened to me in the last week.
As you know I wear either glasses or contact lenses. Last Tuesday I got to work, glasses on, & realised I could not read the computer screen, read books on the desk, patient cards in the filing cabinets, etc, everything at that middle distance - far was fine & very close was fine (I just lift my glasses up!!) Same thing every other day, becoming such a nuisance I couldn't easily read my own computer screen, what a tragedy!! certainly couldn't write this blog!!!
On Monday morning I wore my contact lenses & I have had a wee pair of blue +1 magnifiers that I wore over my lenses Monday & Tuesday, but my vision was getting worse!!! Today I decided stuff this so I wore my glasses & offered to do the banking 1st up & while I was out I went to a chemist & bought a cheap pair of +2 magnifiers that fit over my regular glasses. What relief!! I can see, I can read the computer screen - I can write this blog. I'm functioning again, except - it looks totally weird, must thanks Elizabeth B for suggesting it to me, it's all a compromise :)
I do have a few social things over the weekend & next Tuesday night, Jacqui & I are going to Jersey Boys, a last night before last chemo, which is next Wednesday. It's becoming manageable now.
Only other news is that my tenant, Vinnie, moved in on Monday evening & the first thing he had to do was put together his bed!!! Michael W had no chance, & Vinnie did the whole thing in 5 mins lolol. So far hes been early to work & late home, but seems decent from the few short conversations we have had.
Take care all, I'd love to hear what you are all doing, doesn't seem fair that it's only my news that is being shared!!!! Part of the process & down the track this will be a good memory jogger as to all the things that have happened.
Cheers
Debbie xx

Sunday, March 6, 2011

It's been 2 weeks...

Hi All
Thanks to those who have been wondering how I am - but I haven't had a lot to say this past 2 weeks, but I do now!!!
That week after I last wrote all I did was work Mon - Thur, I didn't do anything after work, so it was a fairly boring week from that point, though being able to work was wonderful!!! On the Fri 25 I think, I went to see Dr Alex G, oncologist. I went on my own this time, but Tracy, the fab breast cancer nurse was there & Alex, for the first time, actually smiled at me!!! I think he's shy. We talked about the effect the 4th chemo had been having on me & while the 2nd 10 days was way better than the 1st 10 days, it was still quite rubbish, had times of just feeling yuck. So he said that if the 5th time was worse than the 4th, he would arrange for the 6th & last to be the same type of chemo as the 1st 3, which is good. You may remember I said that Alex said the 2nd type of chemo would be either better or worse than the 1st - for me it's been a lot worse. I'm seeing him again on Mar 18.

That Fri night a few friends were going to the Symphony to see Peer Gynt & I didn't have a ticket, but it was available for me to watch live online, which is what I did, it was absolutely wonderful, Lynda said it was one of the best things she had seen. Yeah I didn't have the atmosphere of the Opera House, but I did have a bird's eye view of the orchestra & heard the music & narrative & voices.

Last Sat I had bought a ticket to a matinee preview of the Boy From Oz with Tod McKenny. I really did enjoy that, but unfortunately I just wasn't in the mood to go to the theatre that night. I had free tickets for a play at the Zenith Theatre, thanks Geoff S!! so I stayed home, not like me at all!!!!

Shelley, one of the great girls I work with, had told me about a chamber music concert & I went with her on Sunday afternoon, that was most enjoyable too - I do love my cultural hits!!! & I make sure I get quite a lot :)

Mon, Tue & Wed morn I worked again, Tue night I made a huge pot of vegie soup - 1 in fridge, 2 in freezer!! Wed afternoon off I went for the 5th chemo - getting used to it (not). Well it's done & I was ok straight after, but even though I had a couple of plans for Wed night, I stayed home.... Thur I worked from 10 - 3, no doctor, he goes to Kempsey on the mid north coast for 2 days every month - means we get to catch up on lots of admin stuff. Funny thing as I was sitting there working in the morning I could feel & taste the metallicness come into my mouth, so yuck - it hasn't gone.....

Thur night I had booked a ticket a few weeks ago for Fay Sussman at Camelot in Marrickville. She is a Klezmer, Yiddish, Hebrew singer & with her backing group including Daniel Weltlinger on violin, Lara Goodrich on vocals & violin, Eddie Bronson on sax & clarinet, & others on double base, piano accordion & piano, it was wonderful - I had ummed & ahhed about going, but once there I would have hated to miss it - I find that sort of music so uplifting & therapeutic. It made a huge difference to my well being. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

On Fri I didn't do much but my new tenant, yay!! came to pay me a visit & check out the unit - he has already paid his bond. He's bought a franchise for the computer section of Harvey Norman in Chatswood Chase. He's divorced from Melbourne & wants somewhere not too dear or too far from work. I hope we get on... time will tell.

In the afternoon I went to Suzanne S, a kineseologist - we had one session quite a while ago. It takes 2 hours for the sessions. I'm really not sure how it works but some interesting things did come out. I think I may have said, but can't remember if I did, that I have never had one moments upset or anxiety or why me about this cancer thing & I just thought I was being positive & out there & just not letting it get to me. However one of the processes discovered that there is something underneath that is holding onto those feelings. I was not ready to let go of them yet & I know now that it is part of my protective mechanism to not allow things out before they are ready to be revealed, but at least I now know that all this stuff is sitting there waiting for the right time. Wonder what the outcome of that will be??!!

From there I went to Shul & dinner, had a very early night for me - 11pm, got up 1pm on Sat!! Bookclub at Charlene's on Sat afternoon, thanks for having it at your place - it was supposed to be at me, but I just couldn't have done it - you would have been lucky to get a packet of tim tams!!! I brought home some interesting books!!! Last night Lynda & I decided to go to Camelot (again) to see Fromage a trois, a few of the Monsieur Camembert band doing a jamming session gig. I'm glad I went to that too :) love my music - I only danced for 5 mins with Bill V, I just don't have any energy & my arms & legs don't work too well, something that is still the same as I sit here & write.

Today I went to Peter & Gloria's for lunch. There were 5 couples & me. Lovely day!!

My biggest problem is still what to eat & drink, savoury food is good, Gloria made a yummy quiche & that was excellent!! but there is nothing I can bear to drink, water, soft drink, wine, juice, all vile...& I have never been good at putting things into my mouth that I don't like!!!!! funny that. Yet I'm thirsty - I've got a bottle of cold water next to me & it's better than nothing I suppose.

Basically I would describe how I feel as just yuck, not sick, or nauseous or even queasy, just yuck!! I find that aspirin helps a bit, specially with the uncomfortable arms & legs, the rest of me is ok, no sore head or anything & my internal organs don't have that ache they had the last time. I think I should probably try to have acupuncture again tomorrow, will ring Esther in the morning..... All I can say is that every day is a day closer to the end & it's getting closer, only one more on Mar 23.

Please leave any comments or email me direct :)

Cheers
Debbie xx