Writing for myself so I don't forget....

Well - since I last wrote - last Sat - it'w now over a week later on Sun 20 in the evening, I have had a very unpleasant week!!! not all, but most.
Sat night I went out for Chinese dinner in Crows Nest with 4 couples - 9 of us. I had decided before I even went that I felt like salt & pepper calamari (squid) Roy who did the ordering, took this on board & we had a very yummy dinner - I was able to taste & enjoy!!
Last Sun I had a lot of aches & pains, mainly internal & just stayed at home all day - not a doona day lol, just not well enough to do anything. It was day 4 after all. I had planned to not work on Mon as it was day 5 of the previous regimen & it was again a day I had no energy to do anything - I drove to Bondi though & Evie & I walked very slowly round - I did have some sushi which was great! & we had a coffee.
Dr Sue B had recommended that I try acupuncture for relief of the aches & pains which had not abated. Lynda was concerned that I talk to my oncologist Dr Alex G before doing anything, however I was in such a place of low level aches & pains from my arms & legs to my internal organs I decided that acupuncture could only be a good thing! I remembered that a girl Esther R, who I worked with in the school canteen at Killara High a lifetime ago!! is an acupuncturist & we had seen each other now & again over the past several years. Fortunately she had a spot for me on Mon late afternoon. It really made a difference!! The internal aches we decided were my liver fighting the chemo & those aches went away - oy, I've decided to have more acupuncture as I need it.Dr Alex rang me later that evening & told me he thought acupuncture was a worth while thing to do, glad he agreed!!
Tues I worked from 9am to 4pm, left in a lot of gut pain, went home & slept for 2 hours, I really wasn't going to Shirley's birthday dinner, but thought that it might do me good to go. It was at Pita Mix in Rose Bay, & I reconnected with a couple of people which was good. Suzanne S is a kinestheologist & I had gone to her to help in her studies & to see if I liked the idea, a few months previously - it's interested that both acupuncture & kinestheology use the same healing & energy points in the body.
Wed I worked quite a long day, but it was good. Thurs was no good at all - had horrible gastric probs & no sleep & pain in my gut - I just couldn't get to work, I hate that I let them down. I slept in between visits to the loo & tried to eradicate the ache in my stomach. However when I got up on Fri with the determination that I just had to go to work, I felt the same, but no pain!! However my brain has reconnected to my body!!!  I worked till 5.30pm & drove to shul. There were only 6 of us at the pot luck dinner, but I connected with someone I think I must have known, Angie. She lives in the Blue Mountains in Blackheath & is a healer.
While at shul I talked to a girl Pam M whom I actually don't know, but her husband Jason was at school with Michael, my ex, from when they were 5!! Pam has been through all this nonsense last year & when I was telling her how I've been feeling she very kindly told me that the next chemo (2nd last) is way worse & the last one (nbr 6) is the vilest of all - wow how positive!!! Well you all know me - my automatic reaction to this sort of information is to say - that won't happen to me!! However I have to be realistic & accept that it may well happen to me. My prob is work, how do I deal with the possible fact that I may not be able to work at all for the week after my next chemo? & yet maybe I will be able to..... can only take it one day at a time & my attitude is that each day is a day closer to the end!! can't wait till April!!!!!! Easter/Pesach here we come!!
Yesterday - Jacqui & I cleaned the unit - well she did her bit & I did a bit of my bit!! An Aussie guy came & looked at the unit as prospective tenant & we shook hands on him moving in in 2 weeks - however, until he pays me some $$ I'm not getting too excited - it could bomb out, but at least he is interested & he seems decent.
Last night I had dinner with Peter & Gloria at their place, tnx so much for dinner!! We drove to the Opera House to see James Morrison playing with the Sydney Symphony. He is a trumpeter & pianist & plays other brass instruments. I had so very much wanted to go to this concert, but the tickets were very expensive & I thought, there was no way. I'm on the Symphony email list & they sent an email offering tickets to this concert much cheaper. The catch was that the seats were one here & one there, random over the whole concert hall - there might have been 10-12 in total. So I made a spot decision to go & booked a seat 5 rows from the front in the middle!!!
It was sublime - moments of total joy, pleasure & contentment for me, where I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world - at that moment. Loved the show - James, the symphony, a group of Capella singers call Idea of North & Emma Pask, a gorgeous singer with that sort of smoky voice very suitable to those sort of songs from the 30's, 40's etc. What the concert was music from movies starting with 2001 Space Odessy - you know the Richard Strauss piece. followed by all sort of stuff - Irving Berlin, Louis Armstrong, Star Wars theme, ending with Hello Dolly!! As I said enough moments of absolute joy, so much so that I could forget all the shit that's been happening.
After the concert Peter, Gloria, Fran, Peter, Rachel & I went for coffee/chocolate/dessert to Guylian nearby. I had so wanted an ice coffee - usually they come very cold & not very strong, this one was vile!! & also very very very expensive - disappointing - however Peter's lemon meringue pie was divine!!!
Today, another hot day, I finished cleaning my bit of the unit, lol. That meant my bedroom got a vacuum & my bathroom got a good clean. Drove to Lynda's for a swim, we had a long chat first then a quick dip, it was so pleasant in the water today!!! It was funny, I had such a strong desire to be in that pool, must have been something I needed to do.
Since I came home from Lynda's, I have done nothing at all, but sit here. Planning to work all week, except Fri - got my next appt with Alex G, oncologist. Next chemo is Wed Mar 2 - so I expect 10 days of feeling ok, or I should qualify that, feeling better than I did this week!!
Take care all, hope you are all doing ok, anyone with breaks & injuries & recovering from ops, wishing you a speedy recovery!! :)
I'm still positive, upbeat & out there, but when I feel crap, I feel crap!! can't change that reality, I can only deal with everything as best I can & move on...
Cheers
Debbie xx

10 good days in a row.....

Hi All
Since my last blog last Sat - been a very interesting week!!!
Sat itself was 42C - & as I wrote on FB, I forgot there is a pool on the grounds here where I live. Fortunately I did remember!! & off I went for a dip, too hot to do anything else, but be wet under fans.
We had our first of 5 plays & 10 of us went off for dinner (in the heat) then saw a terrific one woman play called Just The Ticket, with Amanda Muggleton, she did Shirley Valentine a long time ago. Most of us enjoyed the play, but can't please everyone. It was still 30C at midnight.
I did go to a movie this week, went with Chloe to see Tamara Drew - I thought it very interesting & enjoyable. Good character representations.
I worked Mon & Tue, very effectively - brain in gear, like the work & the people - long may it last!!!
Belinda B & I went to the Ark Aid concert at the Science Theatre at UNSW last Tue night. Ilan Kidron, lead singer of the Potbelleez organised with Rabbi Mendel Kastel of Jewish House to put on a night of music, where all the performers donated their time & the $$ went to the Jewish flood victims in Queensland. I always love Monsieur Camembert & it seems that Daniel Weltlinger (violinist) came back early from his trip to perform with them. The Potbelleeze I had never seen before, but wow, lots of dancing in the aisles to them. Last performer was Lior, who came up from Melbourne to be there - he had a string quartet who had put off a paying gig to be there!! Very impressive, love Lior. There were other bands & stuff too. But I'm avoiding writing about Wed, Thur, Fri & Sat!!!!
Well I had 4th chemo on Wed, fortunately Miri G had broken her wrist & was able to spend the time with me, poor Miri, she broke it 2 weeks ago, but just thought it was feeling a bit odd, an x-ray on Mon confirmed it was broken!! & she had plaster put on.
As Wed was new chemo it was much quicker & we were out of there in 3 hrs. I went home for a sleep... Thurs I worked, not so effectively, but I was there & did it. Mandy (the other front desk girl) made me go home at 430 & I promised to see her at 9 on Fri. I rang at 10 on Fri to say I would be there at 11, but at that point my choice was to shower & dress or have another snooze, funny that but that 5 min snooze took 2 hrs... I just was unable to go to work on Fri, so I slept all day, must be what my body needed to do. Didn't go to shul last night either, too weary. I did watch a movie I had downloaded called Animal Kingdon, Jacki Weaver is nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Oscar, I didn't like the movie, but she is fab.
Today I had planned to attend a course at the Sydney Writer's Centre with Diane Wolkstein a story teller, who has been visiting from New York telling stories & conducting workshops. It's always interested me to be able to sit down, & tell great stories. I had to leave there 1/2 way through the day....
This chemo thing is so weird, the last 3 lots I was fine on days 1, 2 & 3 & got hit on days 4 & 5. This time it was almost immediate, terrible day 2 & 3, at least the weather hasn't been so hot this week.
As you can see it's just a short blog today, not up to writing too much & need to get ready to go out  for dinner. But my bed beckons.
The worst thing is that my taste has completely gone, nothing I put in my mouth tastes like I want it there - water is foul, coca cola has no taste, fruit is vile, yet I've got to drink lots - tricky!!! I'll get over it, just a short term issue, but not nice when it's happening. Any suggestions, except olives, welcome!! I must go buy some pickled cucumbers, wonder if they will work. I've also got to avoid ulcers, I can feel that my tongue is a bit sensitive & is a gorgeous white colour!!! Oy, I don't recommend this for a fun thing to do :) working on keeping my spirits & pecker up right now - talk later, ciao
cheers
Debbie xx

been a good week!!!

Hi All My Many Great Family, Friends, Followers, Supporters here, there & everywhere!!!

It's been over a week since I last wrote - last Fri, my time. I forgot to say that the previous Sunday, the day I went to Cafe Bondi with Evie - Jacqui & I spent the day cleaning the unit - I did have energy that day!!

I wrote that I had worked on the Thur & even tho it wasn't a good day chemo wise, working was easy. I have worked again since then, but will put it in chronologically!!!!! & there is good news associated with it :)

Last Fri night Ruthie & I chatted on skype for nearly 2 hrs, it is always so brilliant to chat to her!!! having skype is like sitting opposite a friend in the same house... wonderful!!

Last Sat was Opera in the Domain, which was my 4th Sat night in a row in the open air in the city & the 4th one with fantastic weather - no rain, tho it was a cooler breeze last week than previous, it was still 24C. Bill & I went in at 430 & got a great position big enough for 12+ people. I was able to park in the street with my mobility sticker & not have to pay parking. Bill had a friend coming along whom he knew from his weekly breakfast meeting & of course presumed no one else would know this friend!!!!! Warwick & Lisa turned up & yes I knew them hahahah - Warwick is a patient at the dentist I worked for in Chatswood for 4 1/2 years - so I know him well & his wife Lisa had been there too - so funny, I seem to know EVERYONE. Peter who was with us too, also knew Warwick from Barker College where they both had sent their kids..... so Bill was a bit peeved (maybe) that this unknowable friend was not unknowable, so funny. 

Anyway the opera, Carmen, with the Israeli Carmen, was terrific. During the evening I had been visiting other friends also sitting in the Domain & had arranged to go back to Jeanie's place for coffee after, which I did.

Got home from Jeanie's after very long chat with her & Helene at 330am. Bed at 430, up at 9!!! was at baby Layla's 1st birthday at 1030, where I saw all my cousins, etc. Had lunch with Janet & her mum at Cafe Bondi at 1230, spent the rest of the afternoon at Viv & Brian's, where I received a call from Peter S inviting me to a concert at North Shore Temple Emanuel at 7. So I went, it was 5 mins from home. It was the most fantastic concert, the congregation & Willoughby singers together singing songs from Broadway Musicals. I was so glad I had gone!!! I also saw some friends to whom I had not yet told my cancer/chemo story & again the most amazing support from them.

As you can probably tell, I was feeling back to normal from Sunday morning!! TG the crap has been gone all week, been feeling very normal (no bad jokes here pls!!) the whole week.

On Mon I went to North Shore Private Hospital for a Look Good Feel Better program. This is for women suffering cancer & going through chemo, not necessarily breast cancer, any type. There were about 15/16 of us sitting round a big table with volunteers, helpers, staff, etc to help. For some reason I was The Model!!! Sitting at the head of the table, with no hair on, the organiser used me to demonstrate how to make ourselves feel better just by putting on a bit of make up, brightening our faces, & just generally working on ways to look good & feel better, this program has been running for 20 years. Many of the well known cosmetic/skin care companies donate their products & we all went home with very full goodie bags - cleansers, toners, moisturisers, eye creams, foundation, concealers, blushers, eye make up, lipstick & everything else u can think of. The companies donating ranged from Rimmel, Revlon, to Estee Lauder, Lancombe, Chanel, Prairie, etc, etc, etc. I got a lovely A'kin facial spray, as well as everything else. 

Then the girls started with the wigs, scarfs, turbans, hats, etc for everyone to try on. Quite a few of us were bald, some had hair growing back, some were just starting to lose it. I'm very happy with my wig, which isn't from the company demonstrating. Which as I mentioned on FB I washed for the 1st time & just hoped it would look the same after - it does!!!

That course was so worthwhile, I wouldn't have missed it for anything & even if I had been in a permanent job, I would have taken the morning off to go.

Tues was a work day at the ophthalmologist. I started at 9, parked outside the door, all day!!! finished there at 730!!! 10.5 hr day - I was a wee bit tired at the end. Had 30 mins for lunch. But it was fine & I felt like I was more than able to be there & contributing & doing what was required. 

Wed, what did I do on Wed? Oh yeah - because I was not presuming I had that job I went for a job interview with a dermatologist in the city. They said they could not believe the quality of the people applying & they were interviewing everyone possibly suitable. As it happened they rang me on Thurs to say I didn't get the job, which was ok with me, I didn't really want a job in the city!!! However, so glad when people tell you quickly where you stand!!

On Thurs I went to Jewish Care to see what they could do for me, financially... Will hear from them soon.

Then I went to visit Nicki who I've known for over 20 years, our daughters went to Gymbaroo when they were 18 months & are now 22 & 23. But life gets in the way sometimes & we lost touch only seeing each other maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 10 years & we did previously have a very strong good friendship. So good to catch up & spend time together on Thurs - she always makes the most wonderful salads, etc. But geez it was hot!!!!

When I got home I had to finally sit down & sort out the tickets to the Ensemble Theatre, our first play is tonight!! It did only take 1/2 an hour..... 

I collected Sue & we headed to Parramatta at about 7pm to see a show called Breast Wishes at the Riverside Theatre, 6 of us went - it was a fab show, about boobs, breasts, knockers, jugs, etc etc - written by lots of great writers, it was an opening night for this particular cast, they were great, but opening nights means wine, dips, cheeses, crackers, fruit for the audience & the cast, producers, stage management, everyone there. Richard Glover a journalist, writer & presenter of our local radio drive program, was there with his wife, I had seen them last year at another opening night of a play she had written & I (no shyness here) had gone up & chatted to them then. So, of course, I went up to them for a chat & they did remember me from the previous time. I told them my story, short version!!! as it was relevant to the show.

From, there the 6 of us, Marilyn, Andee, Robyn, Judit, Sue & myself walked out into the streets of Parramatta for coffee. It was buzzing!! lots of people around, lots of restaurants open, people on the streets, it was more like Europe than Sydney, though there are other suburbs of Sydney where this happens, just not Chatswood or St Ives!!! lolol. more like Glebe or Leichhardt. We found a chocolate cafe, enough said you get the picture!!!

On Friday I worked again from 9 to 5. No doctor or patients, lots & lots of admin!!! & my good news now kicks in - they have put me on probation which means basically I will be working there permanently from now on. It will end up being full time after chemo finishes. TG they are really supportive & caring of my situation. I will work everyday next week, except Wed - chemo day :( 

Last night I went to Shul as usual. I had yartzeit (memorial service) for my mother - it has been 30 years since she died, it's actually quite unbelievable that it is that long. I was still 20, Jeff was 17 & Michael was 14......

Had pot luck dinner at shul, there were not many of us, but Chloe & I had a very long chat in her car after. The only way to build & maintain friendships is to talk, communication is the only key. Yep it is one of my strengths!!!!!! I type as I talk, as you probably all realise, only benefit of typing is that I can edit!!! lolol actually it's more than a benefit :) I can cut out the repetitions, fix the grammar & punctuation, etc - I just can't fix the loquaciousness!!!! 

Anyway it is Sat morn, going to sort the washing, how mundane & have a bit more shut eye, don't have any plans for today until I collect Naomi from the station & all 11 of us (you know who you are!) head to dinner at Kirribilli prior to the theatre.... will let you know if we all enjoyed the play - it's called Just The Ticket... Looking forward to some culture again - I have quite a lot of that in my life!!! But I work on getting freebies, going to previews, specials, etc - I have purchased 1 ticket to see James Morrison with the Sydney Symphony in 2 weeks but it came as a good special offer & I could also use my concession, but the ticket availability was very limited as it has nearly sold out, so there were only single seats here & there & only a few, my ticket is in the middle 5 rows from the front!!!!! but it was the only 1 in that position.

That's all for now, hope you are all doing well with your various weather positions, from freezing, windy, pouring to boiling, humid & everything else in between I'm sure. To Lynn who recently became a granny for the 1st time, mazaltov & wow, he is so gorgeous! & everyone else with their various good & not so good news. Take care, chat soon :)

Cheers

Debbie xxx