Well - since I last wrote - last Sat - it'w now over a week later on Sun 20 in the evening, I have had a very unpleasant week!!! not all, but most.
Sat night I went out for Chinese dinner in Crows Nest with 4 couples - 9 of us. I had decided before I even went that I felt like salt & pepper calamari (squid) Roy who did the ordering, took this on board & we had a very yummy dinner - I was able to taste & enjoy!!
Last Sun I had a lot of aches & pains, mainly internal & just stayed at home all day - not a doona day lol, just not well enough to do anything. It was day 4 after all. I had planned to not work on Mon as it was day 5 of the previous regimen & it was again a day I had no energy to do anything - I drove to Bondi though & Evie & I walked very slowly round - I did have some sushi which was great! & we had a coffee.
Dr Sue B had recommended that I try acupuncture for relief of the aches & pains which had not abated. Lynda was concerned that I talk to my oncologist Dr Alex G before doing anything, however I was in such a place of low level aches & pains from my arms & legs to my internal organs I decided that acupuncture could only be a good thing! I remembered that a girl Esther R, who I worked with in the school canteen at Killara High a lifetime ago!! is an acupuncturist & we had seen each other now & again over the past several years. Fortunately she had a spot for me on Mon late afternoon. It really made a difference!! The internal aches we decided were my liver fighting the chemo & those aches went away - oy, I've decided to have more acupuncture as I need it.Dr Alex rang me later that evening & told me he thought acupuncture was a worth while thing to do, glad he agreed!!
Tues I worked from 9am to 4pm, left in a lot of gut pain, went home & slept for 2 hours, I really wasn't going to Shirley's birthday dinner, but thought that it might do me good to go. It was at Pita Mix in Rose Bay, & I reconnected with a couple of people which was good. Suzanne S is a kinestheologist & I had gone to her to help in her studies & to see if I liked the idea, a few months previously - it's interested that both acupuncture & kinestheology use the same healing & energy points in the body.
Wed I worked quite a long day, but it was good. Thurs was no good at all - had horrible gastric probs & no sleep & pain in my gut - I just couldn't get to work, I hate that I let them down. I slept in between visits to the loo & tried to eradicate the ache in my stomach. However when I got up on Fri with the determination that I just had to go to work, I felt the same, but no pain!! However my brain has reconnected to my body!!! I worked till 5.30pm & drove to shul. There were only 6 of us at the pot luck dinner, but I connected with someone I think I must have known, Angie. She lives in the Blue Mountains in Blackheath & is a healer.
While at shul I talked to a girl Pam M whom I actually don't know, but her husband Jason was at school with Michael, my ex, from when they were 5!! Pam has been through all this nonsense last year & when I was telling her how I've been feeling she very kindly told me that the next chemo (2nd last) is way worse & the last one (nbr 6) is the vilest of all - wow how positive!!! Well you all know me - my automatic reaction to this sort of information is to say - that won't happen to me!! However I have to be realistic & accept that it may well happen to me. My prob is work, how do I deal with the possible fact that I may not be able to work at all for the week after my next chemo? & yet maybe I will be able to..... can only take it one day at a time & my attitude is that each day is a day closer to the end!! can't wait till April!!!!!! Easter/Pesach here we come!!
Yesterday - Jacqui & I cleaned the unit - well she did her bit & I did a bit of my bit!! An Aussie guy came & looked at the unit as prospective tenant & we shook hands on him moving in in 2 weeks - however, until he pays me some $$ I'm not getting too excited - it could bomb out, but at least he is interested & he seems decent.
Last night I had dinner with Peter & Gloria at their place, tnx so much for dinner!! We drove to the Opera House to see James Morrison playing with the Sydney Symphony. He is a trumpeter & pianist & plays other brass instruments. I had so very much wanted to go to this concert, but the tickets were very expensive & I thought, there was no way. I'm on the Symphony email list & they sent an email offering tickets to this concert much cheaper. The catch was that the seats were one here & one there, random over the whole concert hall - there might have been 10-12 in total. So I made a spot decision to go & booked a seat 5 rows from the front in the middle!!!
It was sublime - moments of total joy, pleasure & contentment for me, where I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world - at that moment. Loved the show - James, the symphony, a group of Capella singers call Idea of North & Emma Pask, a gorgeous singer with that sort of smoky voice very suitable to those sort of songs from the 30's, 40's etc. What the concert was music from movies starting with 2001 Space Odessy - you know the Richard Strauss piece. followed by all sort of stuff - Irving Berlin, Louis Armstrong, Star Wars theme, ending with Hello Dolly!! As I said enough moments of absolute joy, so much so that I could forget all the shit that's been happening.
After the concert Peter, Gloria, Fran, Peter, Rachel & I went for coffee/chocolate/dessert to Guylian nearby. I had so wanted an ice coffee - usually they come very cold & not very strong, this one was vile!! & also very very very expensive - disappointing - however Peter's lemon meringue pie was divine!!!
Today, another hot day, I finished cleaning my bit of the unit, lol. That meant my bedroom got a vacuum & my bathroom got a good clean. Drove to Lynda's for a swim, we had a long chat first then a quick dip, it was so pleasant in the water today!!! It was funny, I had such a strong desire to be in that pool, must have been something I needed to do.
Since I came home from Lynda's, I have done nothing at all, but sit here. Planning to work all week, except Fri - got my next appt with Alex G, oncologist. Next chemo is Wed Mar 2 - so I expect 10 days of feeling ok, or I should qualify that, feeling better than I did this week!!
Take care all, hope you are all doing ok, anyone with breaks & injuries & recovering from ops, wishing you a speedy recovery!! :)
I'm still positive, upbeat & out there, but when I feel crap, I feel crap!! can't change that reality, I can only deal with everything as best I can & move on...
Cheers
Debbie xx
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