some thoughts...

Hi again, everyone - pls say you are a follower if you read my blog, thanks :)

Today I took a doona (duvet) day to just chill & take stock. Just had a long chat on skype with my brother & sister-in-law in Jerusalem - Michael & Nechama. & the things I was saying to them I realised I didnt actually put in my last email.

Thursday a week or so ago, I went in for a contrast dye CT scan of my abdomen, followed by a nuclear bone scan - just to make sure there was nothing lurking about that should be dealt with & fortunately, those 2 scans are clear.

When I was at hosp last Thur having my appt with the chemo oncologist and the intro to chemo meeting. It also included a visit to the chemo treatment ward where they had a look at my veins. They can only use my right arm, as my left arm is on the side of the breast cancer. They could only find 1 vein usable for chemo! & they dont think it would be good to use it 6 times, so what that means is that when I go in on Fri I will have a small procedure where they insert a 'port'. They showed me what it looks like & it is a small round plastic piece with a soft middle which they insert into my chest wall & leave there!! Each time they need to start the chemo infusion, they just put a needle into it & start the infusion - not sure of the detail of how until it happens!!

You may remember that I said there was 1 cancer cell on the 1st lymph node that was removed & they found that during the fine pathology testing after surgery. That cell was on the node, not in it - the oncologist called it a 'tourist'. The surgeon most likely took it with her when she took the lymph nodes out.

However there is an advantage to this - it means that I can have even stronger chemo drugs!!! wooppee doo. the govt is the one who decides what drugs they are allowed to give - seems strange to me that the drs are not the ones making that sort of decision! however we can use that one wee cancer cell to our benefit (not mine I dont think lolol) however im sort of stuck with all this.

I have made the decision to make having chemo my choice. Some have suggested alternative therapies, etc. Yes its probably not a bad idea, but I would never do that instead of conventional, I might go there to do a combination, however those alternative therapies cost fortunes & I dont see the need to go there. For one I dont have the $$ for the other, are they proven? at least all this I am having is covered by Medicare & the govt does pay for it all....

My mind set is still that I dont want to do it (have the chemo at all) but Im aware that is just cos its an unknown & once I have had it the 1st time I will hopefully be in a different space - I may want to stop right there, hahahah, but guess I gotta go thru with it all.

As chemo is a poison that kills the bad cells, it also kills good cells - which is why hair falls out- the hair follicles are constantly growing, the mouth is another area, as the cells inside our mouths turnover quickly too, I had a dental appt on Fri which was already planned & very necessary before starting chemo. The bone marrow is another area of quick cell turnover which is why the white blood cell count goes very low during the chemo period. I have to have blood tests weekly to start with the check how my white blood cells are going.

If anyone is planning to visit me during this period & you have a minor infection, or cold, etc, please dont visit me, I will be very susceptible to anything. In fact I have to buy a digital thermometer to check my temp. I have never had a thermometer & even when the kids were little I used my judgement to see if they were feverish or not. With chemo if I feel a bit off colour at all, i have to take my temp & if it is over 37.8 I have to go straight to hosp!! no second chances, it could be fatal. Interesting! not something I would have known before.

Hope you decide to post a comment or two.... looking forward to reading your thoughts on all this...

ldxxxx